Yes, you are the Dark Lord's most fervent supporter. And yes, you tortured Alice and Frank Longbottom into insanity. I should have known you would do the same to me.
It started with such infatuation. From the very moment I saw your pattern, I knew I had to have you. I sought out yarn with high and demanding expectations, and when I finally found the perfect duets, I wasted no time in bringing you to me. And of course, I wasted no time in casting on. From the moment the yarn arrived, it was pure infatuation. Just you and me.
But you know that infatuation never lasts. First I found you snuggling with my cat. My cat, Bella! And then I discovered how difficult it is to love a crazed Death Eater. You could not allow the knitting to be easy, could you? Was it so important to be your disruptive self that you would interrupt your own creation?
Then we had the cooling off period. I know you hated to be set aside, but I needed to breathe, Bella! I needed some space away from your insanity. A month apart, and I thought I could face you again.
But then when I returned, Bella, you were not forgiving. So vengeful are you! Even after you were completed, you were nasty to me. You came after me by trying to strangulate my legs! You forced me to undo the bindoff, and redo it, looser, less dangerous. And even that, you thwarted. The new, looser bindoff took the last of the yarn alloted that sock. Even after I unravelled a row! And thus another month passed by.
Have we finally reached an agreement, Bella? A truce? An understanding? Dare I hope, a rekindling, even? You are as beautiful as ever, and your dark energy brings a new flavour to life. Will I be wearing you, Bella, all the way to St. Mungos?